Heart to heart talk, what does this really mean to you ? How many of us could truly share our inner most thoughts and feelings when we communicate with our family and loved ones ?

I have been in a very conflicted situation these past few weeks over a personal decision, I have two choices A and B, and I have to decide on either one. It is not an easy decision as either choice has deep considerations and implications to my loved ones, so I have to consult with them for input.

This recent situation may seem like just a simple example, but it has reminded me once again the importance of communication and some of the common pitfalls which could potentially lead to misunderstanding and/or frustrations. I have been on the other side of the fence too.

I have seen many cases where communications were cut to the chase without any heart connections because people took for granted and assumed the other party understood ? They then got careless unconsciously and slowly this became a habit that then led to broken communications.

Never Too Late

Good heart to heart communication with a purpose in mind is when we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings without reservations. While it is surely easier to start it right, it is never too late to mend a broken one but this will take a lot more hard work. Whatever stage you are at, I find the following reminder useful for my practice:

1. Do not assume “…they should know”. It would not just be you getting disappointed and upset when they react differently, it can be equally frustrating for them too since they also might not know what you want.

• • Fact is no one can read another’s mind. Effort is needed to engage and communicate.

2. Open up your heart and be honest with your true feelings, example “..this is how I am feeling in this situation, and this is where I am conflicted”. Here, you are aligning your mind and heart, what you think and say is truly how you are feeling.

• • This helps the other person understand you better and will assist in getting into a heart to heart conversation leading to a more informed authentic advice and outcome..

3. Avoid taking shortcuts in seeking a decision without having already thought it through “..this is the situation, what should I do”. Jumping straight into asking for an advice without sharing context could potentially confuse you even more and can cause misunderstanding.

• • Take accountability of the decision but show that you care enough to share your feelings, consider others feelings and input before you make an informed decision.

Be clear of your intention, stay calm and be patient. You may not get the initial engagement as you wanted but understand that it does take time to warm one’s hearts and this needs to be cultivated with a lot of patience and loving kindness. 

Lyn 🌻😊