In life, we would take so many things for granted, especially when things are going well and/or when needs are well taken care of by someone else. Often, it would only dawned upon us to take notice and take actions when things did not go as well or when an event triggered a need for attention.
These past two months, I had made many trips to the hospital, accompanying my mum for her knee replacement surgery and post surgery care follow up visits. My sister Liz, who was the primary caregiver, had been with me all the time. We had each other company and times passed by easily as we supported one another, while accompanying my mum.
Well, it was easy, as it seemed until this week. When my mum had a last minute urgent doctor’s appointment and Liz could not make it. Now all of the sudden, I was the primary caregiver.
My sister Liz has been doing a fantastic job looking after my parents health care needs all these years that I have taken for granted that it is an easy task. As I learnt, easy or not, it is our attitude towards it.
Put To Test My Patience And Compassion
This week has been my test and opportunity to deepen my practise on patience and compassion.
It does take a lot of patience and compassion to care and support the needs of the sick. I reminded myself to listen deep and discussed my mum’s concern from her perspective and not imposed mine. While I might not completely understand or feel her anxiety and agony, the least I could do was to listen and just be there for her.
We can sometimes come across as selfish and incapable of showing love and compassion to others, especially when we are caught up with our own busy life. Actually our innate self is filled with love and compassion, and when the needs call for it, we would step up to it. I am feeling grateful just being able to spend time with my mum, despite a demanding week.
Practise Patience and Compassion At Any Moment
Photo taken in National University Hospital
In hospital, there are a lot of opportunities to observe, reflect and practise active patience; kindness; love and compassion.
There is no need to fix a time to improve ourselves. Just try to practise at every moment to ensure kindness and compassion are present in all actions.
We should not get stuck in ideas of how to practise, just practise ! A simple act of just visiting the sick is enough to give them the joy of companionship.
The doctors, nurses and admin staff are all sources of inspiration. Their patience and compassion, often tested under tremendous pressure, are qualities not to be taken for granted.
Do not take for granted the good and be grateful for the not so good, they are all lessons of life to make us a better person.
Lyn 🌻😊
Wishing your mother well, and more patience and compassion for you. 🙂
Thank you so much !
Firstly wishing your mom well.
And you are right, giving care is probably one of the hardest acts. But yet a meaningful one and serves deep in your conscience for the rest of your life. One thing I learn is while giving care is important to be receiving care is as important. So ensure the rest of the family network is aware of that and be a support pillar to you as well. All the best!!
Thank you so much for your well wishes and very insightful perspective. Yes I am very blessed to have a strong family network of support and my mom is doing great, progressing very well 🙂
Excellent blog in patience and compassion – easier to understand, but hard to remember and practice when the runner meets the road. Very good reminder to exercise patience and love as I interact with my mom and parents in law too
Thank you and great that you find it useful,happy practising at any moment !
This blog serves as a great reminder to me to practice patience and compassion towards my own aged parents. Thanks for sharing Lyn!
Happy practising !
Humans by nature are compassionate but we allow ourselves to get too busy to practice it. This article made me think again about compassion and gratitude. Thank you Lyn.
Thank you and may you find your own moments of practise !
Hope your mom will get well soon and fully recover. Indeed, compassion and kindness are virtues that need to be nurtured at all times so that gratefulness and thankfulness will become part of us…
Very well said Dan and thank you so much for your well wishes 🙂
Very true…we should not take things for granted. It takes a lot to be a caregiver just like it takes a lot to be a stay home mum. Take a step back n appreciate those that we never had a chance to
yes, grateful for every moments !
Hi Lyn,
Looks like you are keeping yourself busy and spending your time wisely and we all have to think positive everyday and never take things for granted. After reading your blogs i have to be awareness and practice it.
Love Elsie
Thank you ! Happy practising 🙂
Hi Lyn,very well said, thank you !
🙂
I can relate to your recent experience. My mother who passed away recently had been ailing with esophageal cancer for past three years. My wife and I made sure she got the best medical attention and also tried our best to alleviate her pain and discomfort especially during her final weeks. I could see from her eyes and words that it mattered so much to her. At the same time I think that it gave a meaning to our lives.
Wish good health to your mother.
You have my respect for being so kind and compassionate. Take care and thank you for your well wishes!
It is great that in the midst of the tension in a hospital, you could observe and reflect on the compassion and patience of the nurses and doctors. I found myself lacking patience when i visit a hospital due to the invariable delays. Many a times, it so happens that we know something but it does not surface up at the right time for us to practice. Great reminder
Yes, it’s a continuous learning journey.
Hi Lyn indeed wonderful sharing that caregiver taking care of elderly parents needs to practice love, patience, kindness, compassion, communicate and listen to their concern and needs. Wow! What a great blessing to share the caregiving responsibilities and stay active.
Indeed, it’s a learning journey and every situation is an opportunity to make us better 🙂
Patience and Compassion are in all shades and levels. Everyone has compassion but, patience is often challenge by one’s circumstances. A speedily recovery to your mother’s illness. A big hug for you.
Thank you ! Every test is an opportunity to make us a better human being 🙂
A listening ear and yes, be very patient. We won’t understand their real anxiety until we reach their age. Parents hv taken care of us when we were younger and now is the time for them to lean on us.
Well said Soh, thank you !
Well written. I had a chance to stay with my parents for couple of days and I uncovered so may changes in them which I was unaware. What did not change unconditional attention, compassion and patience towards every thing . I am still learning ..
Thank you Ramesh. Yes, parents are so unconditional on their love to children and now it is our time to shower them with our love 🙂
Hello Lyn I certainly learn a lot from u. Agree, all of us have problems and challenges in life. A lot of us don’t have the patience, love and compassion to deal with them. Patience and compassion are a virtue. Life is too short. Always show love, patience and compassion. It will make life easier. Our patience and compassion will be tested if we don’t put into practice. Thus continue to be patient and have compassionate heart, good things will not stop coming to u.
We can only get better with practice and most importantly is to be motivated with the right intention, and for me it is grow and be a better person. So, however difficult and small the improvements are, it is still an improvement and so do not be discouraged. Thank you so much for your good wishes ❤️.