What a beautiful video (attached below).. I was amused and at the same time felt a compelling force of love to write about this video of an owner lecturing his pair of puppies under the watchful eyes of the mother dog. It is so relatable that the video has been forwarded many times and I have watched it repeatedly a few times too.
The mother dog didn’t move the entire time the man was scolding the puppies for biting the sack, because she knew they were wrong. The moment he tried to be physical, she immediately pounced on him. A superb maternal instinct response to protect the puppies.
What really got me thinking was how many of us, mothers out there, can truly balance the innate love to protect and the need to enforce uncompromising discipline for wrongdoing… It is tough love for the bigger good to inculcate the right values and behaviour, dogs or humans alike. Let me be honest, I have not been entirely successful and consistent here.
I Was Not Consistent… Miso Is Still Biting
When I have my family dog Miso two years ago, she was biting almost everything and anything. The trainer told us that puppies will push their boundaries and we must be strict and consistent to discipline any wrong behaviour. Puppies have short memories and if we relent just once before good habits get formed, we will have to start the training all over again. All previous weeks training would have gone down the drain. The key was consistency !
Miso was about 1 year old and was regularly being punished for biting toilet paper roll. She used to have to sit in this same position for 30 minutes…
Miso recent punishment for biting a piece of tissue paper. She was released in <10 minutes. While she dare not bite toilet roll now, she is still biting other small items occasionally…
Tough Love … Wise Love
As I relate to this experience and recall my own parenting style, I must confess that I did make many similar mistakes relenting to my three kids’ unreasonable behaviours and demands when they were growing up. I was not determined nor courageous enough to take a tough stand to right the wrong consistently at all times, but how wrong I was. I am just so grateful and fortunate that they have grown up well and are now respectful adults, but things could have gone very wrong here.
So, to all parents out there, have you truly exercised tough love ? Tough love is wise love…. a love very much lacking in today’s society. Wise love is important as it teaches our children values and good character building. It teaches them courage to face challenges in life and deal with them humbly.
If you had missed this chance as your children have grown up to be adults now like mine, we could still have a chance to get it right with our grandchildren, grandnieces and nephews, etc… in future and/or now 😊.
Lyn🌻😊
Thank you so much for this beautiful sharing. I also like the way your dog Miso has improved with your tough love. Such a cute dog with so much human feeling.
Thank you Mike ! Yeah dogs are so lovable and they have so much feeling… and they also know who to bully, just like human 🙂 Miso is always pushing her boundaries 🙂
Good story, animals are so clever.
Thank you for sharing. Miso behave well
Thanks SL. Animal instinct is very strong… Miso is well behave most of the time but she has her naughty days too . She will run under the table or chair to go into hiding when she bites something because she knows it is wrong to bite 🙂
Sometimes its us who are working that makes it hard to practise tough love and thus the inconsistency. Need to balance time spend with children too.
Tough love is a tough question. All about balance. Getting it right is a learning journey.
Not sure about grand parents been tough. Not in many grand parents’ job scope to be tough! Hahahahaha
Hahaha yes grandparents intervention is going to be even tougher ! So hopefully all young parents can train themselves to exercise tough and wise love so that grandparents can just enjoy their grandkids and help balance with more fun and wisdom… keeping in mind not to spoil them and contradict the parenting process :). Really tough, that’s why it is so lacking in today’s society and that’s why Miso is still biting ..but the benefit is tremendous if one is determined…
I think it’s all about balance. I grew up with tough love and looking back, I am grateful to my mum for being so tough in some ways and yet being so amazingly supportive and loving in other ways and sometimes unexpectedly. As long as its not abusive and with a right reason, I think its fine.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story Yam and your mum sounded like a great woman who was able to balance well. I totally agree that it is all about balance… The younger generation seems to be a lot less resilient these days and needs a bit more toughening… I hope all young parents will have the courage and wisdom to exercise that balance.
Execise tough love is about creating boundaries and limits so that our children or even pet animals can grow and become more responsible for their behavior. Just a sharing, my eldest son grew up with my strict discipline and expectations. Now he is grateful to me with the intent to help him grow in the long run.
Thanks for sharing your personal experience Eliza… great example and testimony with your eldest son ! I have heard as well the reverse story of one who is spoilt and now wishing her parents had been stricter with her. All parents need courage to exercise tough love with wisdom.