What is your character ? I was asked this question and I thought I knew, it seems like a straightforward question. I always thought my self awareness is very high but not until I was probed then did I realise that the answer to the simple question may not be that straightforward.

Of course, there are many common examples of good character traits we would often look out for : kind; honest; humble; giver; hardworking; respectful; etc.. and bad ones too, examples : impatience, arrogance; judgemental; laziness; taker; quarrelsome; etc..

When my daughters first introduced their boyfriends to me, the first thing I assessed were their characters. While I may not be able to completely influence their choice of partners, the least I could do is to emphasise the importance of character.

Character can influence one’s life. 

Good character attracts whereas bad character repels. It is a common experience that many of us would prefer to work or interact with people of good character, and we would be always willing to extend help to them whenever needed as opposed to one who has bad character. Hence, a person with good character is usually more successful and happier in life.

Your character comes about because of your attitudes and habits. No one is perfect, there will always be areas in which we can improve. But how many of us truly understand ourselves deeply enough to know where we can self change or improve to avoid having bad attitudes and habits that lead to bad characters. 

Take kindness as an example of a good character traits. I recently came across a quote that resonated so well with me : “Kind people may not have to be nice and nice people can be unkind”…

• To extend kindness, do you care enough to have the courage to tell the hard truth with empathy as you try to help someone out of a bad situation while facing the risk of them not accepting the truth and feeling hurt or angry with you.

• Or are you just pleasing others and want to come across as a nice person when deep down you know some things are not right but you are not telling the hard truth ?

Simple kindness takes courage, hard work and discipline. We all like to be likeable, so it is easier to be a nice person but we can potentially end up being unkind to ourselves and/or to those we interact with by not facing the hard truth.

So, the importance of building good character and avoiding bad character through our way of living requires great courage and discipline. Some questions for us to ponder :

• Are you always in denial mode and sweeps things under the carpet, or one who is courageous enough to face the hard truth and deal with it ?
• Do you take accountability when things go wrong or you start going into a blame mode ?
• Do you get arrogant or self righteous when things go right or you remain humble and grounded ?

What is your character ? To self change, we first need to know ourselves. Learning to sit and reflect deeply to understand ourselves better is a good start, this is what I am trying to practice and discover.

Lyn 🌻😊