“People can clearly sense our emotions, intentions, attitude and tone when we are talking with them…”
Whether it is within extended family members in a home setting; or amongst friends in a social setting; or colleagues in a formal meeting…everyone can speak but not everyone would command the same positive impact and effectiveness of their speech.
The tone of our voice and the content of what we say is equally important. People can clearly sense our emotions, intentions, attitude and tone when we are talking with them, and this is usually where misunderstandings can occur. These same factors also affect the impression we give to others.
I am slowly learning to be mindful of my tone. Sometimes, what you have to say may seem very reasonable, but if the tone of your voice was rude, no matter how reasonable our words were and how sound our logic was, they would not enter the other person’s heart. This can lead to anger and frustrations on both sides leading to communication breakdown. Be mindful here.
I am slowly learning to communicate with myself, to understand my thoughts, emotions and body through simple meditation, quiet sitting and nature walk. By listening intently without the need to defend or justify. You may think that you were simply trying to clarify but instead subconsciously you might actually be defending your position and ego. Take time to understand yourself, others can sense your emotions beyond words expressed.
I am slowly learning to wait, communicating at the right time is important. You do not always need to react with immediate feedback or challenge others on their point of view. Timing must be right and if one is not ready to happily embrace your opinion, there is no point pushing it. Otherwise your good intention to enlighten may end up negatively impacting the person instead. It is ok to wait.
The majority of the people still prefer to hear positive words of praise or encouragement and I am slowly learning to give more positive feedback than picking on one’s weaknesses. My simple example with my domestic helper, seeing the positive impact and motivation in her as I praise her for her much improved cooking and cleanliness instead of picking on her weaknesses brings joy to her and myself too.
I am slowly learning to appreciate “silence is golden”. You can enjoy the presence of others and any lively conversations amongst them without feeling compelled like you have to say something or feeling left out. Relaxing and just being present can be a bliss, no need to seek any attention or say something for the sake of saying. Do not say things you do not mean, others can sense your intentions and attitude beyond the words spoken.
And I am slowly learning to accept some situations take time. I find helping to mediate long term conflict resolution, and feeding back on one’s weaknesses and mistakes to be extremely difficult. This needs courage and patience, deep compassionate listening and understanding for those who are suffering. Do not be discouraged.
Communication is so foundational to any good human relationship but it is certainly not easy to master. I am slowly learning the art of communication…there are so many different great theories out there and I am always learning something new but putting it into practice consistently is not as easy. I am patiently working on getting better with each brand new day 😊.
Lyn 🌻😊
Thanks for sharing Lyn.
Many great points and reminders!
Thank you SKl, I value your feedback as always
Thanks for sharing. Communication is indeed an art… tone, expression, learning when to say something & when to refrain, encouraging words, reflecting our intent when we say what we say…good reminder. Thanks Lyn. Blessed CNY !
Thank you Lina! Happy Lunar New Year !
Wishing you best of everything
I totally agree with your sharings. Its not about how perfect our English is, i mean thats a bonus for sure but get the basics right..
Thank you Yam, so true..words are just 10% of what we communicate, according to psychologist studies.
Lyn,
Glad you are still learning and same for me. Thank you for sharing and in many ways reminding us to track mindfully. Happy, Healthy, mindful, loving kindness, peaceful Lunar Tiger Year. Springxx
My pleasure Spring yes, one can never stop learning .. glad you find this helpful!
This is true Lyn communication is an art. My hubby and I are very careless with words when we speak and our rude tone of speaking. After reading your blog, I have learnt we need to improve our ability to communicate. Thank u for sharing the following tips:
Content of what we say
Tone of our voices
Control our emotions
Positive words of praise and encouragement
Give attention and listen
Will make effort to put into practice, practice and practice.
Thank you so much Eliza for sharing your thoughts and experience.. grateful that you find the tips useful. Wishing you the very best as you practice them .
This is gold!
It is indeed extremely important to keep learning and improving on one’s communication skill.
Kudos to those who have mastered the art (we are reading from one of them)
Great blog, Shalyn!
Thank you NS! Indeed learning is life long…
Lyn, another great & candid article on communication that comes with great wisdom & practicality, bringing communication skill to the next level. I totally appreciate the importance of right timing and the power of Silence is Golden when appropriate in communication too.
Thank you Dan for sharing your thoughts! I keep reminding myself that it really all goes back to managing one’s emotions and intentions, with a kind and caring heart… especially when the situations get tough.
The eagle always gets frustrated trying to talk to and understand a crow
It would take an eagle tons of humility to listen to and understand a cow, if ever…